A very long time ago, there was a Bonnaroo contest looking for a video enumerating what the Flaming lips mean… to you… or me… The prize was a trip to see the band at Bonnaroo was the prize.
I did not win. I went to see them in July at Forecastle in Kentucky. And that’s where we fell out of love (thanks to their head roadie and dancer wrangler, Jake. Thanks for ruining everything, Jake, I’d probably still be following them around if not for you.)
I never throw anything away and found this on my desk at work not too long ago. While I prefer not to think about the Lips in this way anymore, it is a somewhat (bitter)sweet picture of who I was back then.
Here we go. Take it away Past Me:
I’ve been thinking how to do this — what gimmick might make me stand out in anyone’s mind — and I’ve come to the conclusion there’s nothing I can do except tell the truth.
I won’t be picked and I know it, but I just had to try.
Under the heading of how the Lips have influenced me, I can only offer this: I am a completely different person now than I was three years ago when I first heard ‘At War with the Mystics.’
I’ve struggled with serious depression since I was a little kid so my trick is finding things to look forward to. Lips shows give me that. In fact, when they played Denton back in March, Wayne spoke of their friend Mark Linkous’ suicide and how you have to find that one thing to hold on to — I felt like he was talking straight to me – for me the Lips are that one thing, they keep me looking forward. They give me enough concentrated happiness in each show that I feel like I can make it through another day when it’s all over. Each show feels like learning to smile all over again.
Being a fan is like being a super hero. During the day, I’m a mild mannered government employee, but come show time I’ve been a butterfly, a geisha, lizard, kitty cat… then return to work the next day and feel like I have a secret, other identity.
- For the Lips, I have experienced starvation, dehydration, exhaustion and bouts of unconsciousness… but I have also experienced joy and elation.
- I have a passport now
- I have great adventures – I’ve crossed one border and hope the Lips will give me the excuse to go to England or Ireland some day.
- I take care of others and trust others that I would have no reason to trust otherwise, bunked with total strangers from three different countries that I trusted without question.
- I have traveled over 9400 miles – 8 states, 1 country
- I have a standing date for New Year’s
- I get on planes even though I’m scared to fly
- I have enough costumes in my closet to stock a small masquerade shop
- I know that silly string is hilarious and confetti is a lot easier to accidentally swallow than you would think
- I’ve attended one funeral and now know the truth behind the words, “do you realize?”
- I’ve rejoiced at the birth of 4 babies, 2 weddings and several more love connections. I’ve made amazing friends like I’ve never had before in my life
- I sought help with my weight because of the Lips. I wanted to feel better and be able to keep up during shows and things like their Skeleton March. I’ve lost 70lbs
- I have a Flaming Lips tattoo… something I swore I would never do, but I did anyway because the last three years have meant so much to me that even if I woke up tomorrow and the whole experience was over, I would still want a reminder of the friends I’ve made and the experiences I’ve had
- For the first time, because of this band, I feel like I belong somewhere.
In short, I know Bonnaroo will be THE show to see this summer and it would meant the world to me to have this opportunity… and if you don’t pick me, I’m going to let all the animals out here at the Abilene Zoo (*silly string*)
(my math)
Eight states, one sountry
San Antonio – 246
OKC x 6 (zoo, 3 NYEs, 2 MoFS) – 1686
Austin x 2 – 440
Denton – 225
Nashville – 843
Vancouver – 227
Tulsa – 386
Seattle – 1920
Birmingham – 819
Denver – 719
Monticello NY – 1742
Ft Worth – 151
9404 miles
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Beautiful/Trivial Jesse Daniel Edwards
